Tipping Doesn't Make Sense

November 30, 2018

People! Always tip your servers! And tip em good! Now that I’ve got that out of the way and with all due respect to all of my friends and loves in the service industry, can we all just agree that tipping is weird? I always tip 20% and I try to tip better if they earned it, but still it’s weird, right? It’s called a gratuity but it’s basically required, it’s supposed to be based on quality of service but when you do actually base it on quality of service you’re being an ass, right? When I was a kid it was 10%, 15% just a few years ago and nowadays it’s 20%. Okay fine, but now counter service is supposed to get that much too? Because they took my order and sent me on my way? And shit, while we’re at it, why the fuck am I paying your wages anyway? Isn’t that your bosses freaking job? And I’m supposed to tip my coffee barista a good amount but fast food workers get nothing? How is that fair? Servers bust ass and it can be a tough ass job and customers are pretty much assholes by default and a good server can really make for an awesome experience and they deserve to be well paid and I always happily tip at least 20%. But this is a weird messy system of exchange that is inconsistent and not reproduced anywhere else in our economic system. Like really, where else are you asked (with no requirement) to pay an undisclosed, ambiguous amount for an ill defined, subjectively judged service in whatever amount you deem appropriate, as long as it’s at least the appropriate amount...? Shit, it’s not just that we do this nowhere else in our economy, it’s pretty much not done like this anywhere else in the world. It’s a uniquely American service industry thing and it is also massively unfair; it disproportionately favors young white women (blondes in particular) and there’s talk of a potential Supreme Court case outlawing tipping because of how it disproportionately discriminates against minorities, women over 35 and (oh the irony) men. Oh, and bosses love it because they don’t have to actually pay their employees... So many of you my bestest friends and loves are in the industry and I know how much you kick ass and you deserve to make more than you do but don’t you ever wonder why your particular profession has developed such a uniquely weird, ill defined and unfair system of wages where certain people make disproportionately more than others and your boss doesn’t actually have to pay you what you’re worth? I don’t know why I had to rant that all just now, it’s just something that I’ve always participated in that’s never quite made sense to me (as I disproportionately tip my 20something blonde server $5 on a burger and a beer...).