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Epstein Killed Himself And You're Stupid For Thinking He Didn't

November 17, 2019


No one was more likely to have killed themself than Jeffrey Epstein.

There is no one on earth more reviled than someone who sexually assaults kids. Even in prison, among rapists and murderers, the worst of the worst, the child fuckers are the most hated. When Epstein appeared in court there were literally 500 cameras pointed at him. When you are the worlds most notorious child fucker about to spend the rest of your life in prison you are probably the most likely person on earth to kill yourself.

In the weeks before his death Epstein had stopped combing his hair or shaving his beard. He’d stopped showering entirely and was sleeping on the floor of his cell instead of the cot. Classic signs of deep depression. He had already attempted suicide and was on suicide watch. No one debates this, he’d already tried it once.

The day before his death he had signed his last will and testament, placing all of his money and properties, his jets, his island, 56 million in cash he had sitting around, all of it went into a secret offshore trust that no one can touch, where it is almost impossible for his victims to sue his estate and actually get anything. A final act of control over his victims the day before he (most likely) committed suicide. He knew he was going to die, he was planning it out. Meticulously.

The ‘evidence’ that most people point to comes from a celebrity forensic pathologist who wasn’t present for the autopsy and has a tv show to promote, who’s conclusions are the opposite of the pathologists who were actually there for the actual autopsy. The other big piece of ‘evidence’ is that the cameras were out. In a notoriously filthy prison where the toilets often didn’t flush that’s not ‘evidence’.

The ‘Epstein didn’t kill himself’ memes are cute and funny and trendy and stuff, but if you believe them you are engaged in conspiracy thinking. You don’t get to criticize flat earthers and climate deniers on the one hand and then engage in the same kind of thinking errors when it’s popular to do so. You’re doing the same thing. A vast dark cabal of powerful and influential pedophiles with scant supporting evidence? Could you get any more conspiratorial?

As far as actual claims from actual victims go, it’s three or four low to mid level politicians, one prince of Wales and his primary enabler Ghislaine Maxwell. That’s what the actual victims have said. And you know what you do in cases like this? You believe the victims. I know you want it to be Trump, I know you want it to be Clinton, I know you want it to be this vast web of powerful politicians and billionaires, a secret cabal of influential men operating behind the scenes to carry out their nefarious designs and its actually not a big stretch of the imagination. But it’s still imagination.

Rational thinking is important, especially when it’s unpopular. Use Occum’s razor. Have you ever tried to keep a secret between more than two people? What’s more likely, a vast secret international web of conspiracy or a single cowardly narcissist who can’t face the music? Don’t engage in conspiracy thinking just because it’s popular to do so. Rigorous rational thinking means questioning your own assumptions. Either way, fuck that guy, I’m glad he’s dead.

Now’s the part where you all tell me how stupid I am for refusing to believe in conspiracy theories




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