Atheism for the Uninitiated

February 13, 2020

A primer on being an atheist (for the maaaany who don’t seem to understand): I had a pleasant discussion the other night amongst friends about our different belief systems and it went really well. This is usually not the case. One of us was a theist who believes in god, that god is a man in the sky and who prays to him frequently. One was definitely not religious but considers himself ‘spiritual’ and spoke frequently about an infinite interconnected cosmic web. I am an atheist and rationalist who requires empirical verifiable evidence as the basis of my worldview and I consider fairy tales and far out hypotheses a primitive basis for belief. So we had a pretty full spectrum of beliefs. Despite our differences, it was a pleasant, funny, rewarding conversation. We chain smoked, laughed and spoke passionately about our differing beliefs.

However the conversation took some very predictable turns into misunderstanding and misinformation when it comes to my non belief in magic. Predictable because these are the mistakes and misconceptions that every person who believes in sky gods, fairy tales, universe creators and primitive new age magic makes whenever discussing atheism. These misunderstandings are very basic, redundant and kind of frustrating because they are so simplistic. Yet I always have to explain and re-explain and then re-explain again. So for those of you who still believe in Bronze Age mythologies or think that somehow modern new age ‘spirituality’ is any different, here is a primer on the basics of what it means to be an atheist:

First of all, a lot of us don’t use the term ‘atheist’. While it does mean ‘not a believer in a deity’ it’s really weird to define yourself by what you don’t do. Like, do I go around all the time telling everyone I’m a ‘non-golfer’? No, that would be ridiculous. Similarly, defining ourselves by our relationship to primitive mythologies is a kind of non starter. No, I don’t believe in archaic super heroes and defining myself by that non existent relationship is in itself a misconception. I simply don’t spend my time dwelling on that, why should that be what defines me? We don’t think we know everything. In fact quite the opposite. A common response from theists and believers in magic when informed of my non-belief is ‘Oh so I guess you know everything? You understand the entire universe?’ No. Don’t be ridiculous. Asking for evidence is the opposite of knowing everything. We are also often called arrogant or presumptuous in the same breath. You know what’s presumptuous? Proposing that there is an infinite all knowing intelligence that created the entire universe and communicates with you personally yet you can provide zero verifiable evidence beyond your own personal experience and expecting everyone else to think that’s a reasonable belief. Let’s say you said the exact same thing but instead of using the term ‘god’ you said ‘invisible alien lord Zog from planet Lepton’? We’d all agree you were fucking crazy. Yet using the Bronze Age invisible sky god of Abraham and you expect special rights and special spaces and holidays and respect for your unverifiable myths and fairy tales? That is the height of presumption and arrogance, forcing your invisible fantasy on everyone else and acting all afluster when we ask for evidence. Asking for evidence is not arrogantly pretending to know everything, quite the opposite. Demanding special consideration for invisible dogmas is the height of arrogance and presumption. And yeah, we generally know more science than you. That doesn’t make us arrogant, that makes us informed and curious. We understand your beliefs. Most of us have spent most of our lives believing the same things you do. We’ve just moved on. Growing up in this religion saturated culture how could any of us ever get away from it? My grandfather was a preacher, my dad thought he was going to be a preacher. I’ve read a lot of your Bronze Age book of fairy tales and spent a lot of my life whispering my hopes and secrets to your same invisible primitive sky god. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and I have probably forgotten more than any of you will ever know about astrology, tarot, magick and mysticism. Don’t try to inspire me with starry eyed kooky new age lectures about what turned you into a hippy. I can out-kook all of you with one chakra tied behind my back. It’s primitive fairy tales and I’ve delved into far deeper territory. We know what you believe and how inspirational that is to you. Continuously repeating it to us is not convincing. Speaking passionately about what inspires your belief is not going to inspire the same belief in me. We’ve already been there and moved waaaay past that. And constantly repeating it with starry eyed conviction looks kind of insane to us. The same goes for magic, astrology, and new age ‘spiritualism’. Been there, done that, moved on to something far more complicated. So please stop trying to convince us with happy fairy tales. Maybe try going a little deeper if you want to hook our attention.

And finally, yes we have morals, yes we have ethics. That’s usually the first question that religious people have when I tell them I’m a non-believer ‘Well then how do you have morals? What’s to keep you from raping and murdering people? How do you live with yourself?’ Really?? So let me get this straight: the threat of eternal damnation is the only reason you’re not out raping and murdering people? Without your primitive dogma and mythical guidelines you have no moral structure? The only difference between you and a psychotic grizzly bear jacked up on viagra is your unverified invisible sky god? Y’know that’s really fucked up! As a humanist I am guided by love and compassion, caring and cooperation, empathy and doing what is best for the betterment of the species and the planet. The fact that you need an invisible judge glaring down from the clouds at your every move in order to maintain any kind of moral compass is actually deeply disturbing. (And as a side note, seriously, why the fuck does everyone go straight to rape and murder? Is that really the first thing that comes to mind when discussing your belief system? That’s also deeply disturbing to me.). Studies have shown that atheists are far more ethical than religious people. The last poll I read placed atheist at around 12% of the population (this number has probably grown since then) but only about 1% of the prison population. Religious believers make up around 75% of the population but around 95% of the prison population (please don’t waste our time trying to debate these numbers, it’s kind of beside the point).

Yes it’s more difficult being a non believer. Studies have shown that atheists are more prone to depression and anxiety (same holds true for people with higher IQs, there’s a lot of overlap there). It is a far more complicated existence. And no we don’t have the structures that create community and bonding that religious people do. We don’t have thousands of years of history, art, music and architecture that religious people do. We don’t have the bonds that are created by getting together every week and singing and sharing community and being joyful together. But that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate those things. Many of us miss those things. Hopefully we can create that in the years to come. We also don’t have the thousands of years of war and genocide, racism and bigotry, manifest destiny, slavery, crusades, burning of ‘witches’, the systematic rape of children and eradication of indigenous people everywhere that religious people tie themselves in knots trying to justify. So in that sense it’s a bit of a wash, kind of a trade off that to my mind is worth being a rational thinker.

I hope this has been informative in dispelling some common misconceptions. I’ve sat here writing this while my son has been in surgery because it was on my mind and, well, I had nothing better to do. Any constructive feedback would be appreciated and if your beliefs compel you to send thoughts and prayers to my kiddo I appreciate your good intentions he’s in the good hands of the highly educated rationally awesome scientists taking excellent care of him.